101+ Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry (Exclusive): Laughing is essential in life and this sense, Jokes play an important role in tickling. Start your day with these 100+ Most Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry.

These Hilarious Jokes, we have gathered for you by the suggestions from our team members. Hope you will like our collection of 100+ “Most Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry”. These one-liners would also make great custom t-shirts to gift to your friends or to express your geeky and comical side.

101 Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry

• What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
• What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!
• I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
• What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel like it’s good enough? – Impasta Syndrome!
• Dear life, when I said “Can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
• I’m so tired of saying “Oh shit, my mask…”. Like I’m Batman or some shit.
• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent
• What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
• What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
• What do cows read the most? Cattle-logs.
• What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
• Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.
• What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover.
• What would bears be without bees? Ears.
• What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
• What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
• What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
• What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
• What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

• What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
• Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
• What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
• Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
• How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.

• What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
• What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
• One night an aeroplane was burglarized, and all the toilet paper was stolen. When the police came to investigate, their report was inconclusive, because they had nothing to go on.
• What did the fish say when he hit the wall? DAM!
• Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give to me learn that lesson myself.
• I admit that my level of weirdness is above the average, but i’m comfortable with it.
• What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

One-Liner Jokes

• My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.
• I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns naming American vice-presidents, Al Gore first.”
• My friend’s selling a load of broken yo-yos, no strings attached.
• I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.
• I went geese hunting the other day but once they started flying I knew the game was up.
• What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• Where does the general put his armies? In his sleeves.
• What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
• How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.

• How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
• I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
• It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all, rules are rules.
• Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

Hilarious Jokes for Adults

• Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
• Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”, I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”
• What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes
• What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A penis
• A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
• I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.
• You don’t need a driver license to ride me.
• My entire life can be summed up in one sentence… “well that didn’t f*cking go as planned.”
• I come from a place where “keep talking” means you better shut the fuck up.
• The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
• My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
• My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
• If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

• What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file
• How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it’s gone
• How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
• How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
• What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
• What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
• I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.
• My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
• Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!

Hilarious Jokes for Teens

• What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know I couldn’t understand her.
• Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
• What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How you doin’ brother?
• What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
• What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.
• For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
• “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
• “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.”

• What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students
• What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
• What do a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
• What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
• I’m mostly “Peace, Love and Light” and a little “Go F*ck Yourself “

Hilarious Jokes for Kids